I watch as everyone in my classroom raises their hands to read aloud from our textbook. I don’t have my hand up, but the teacher chooses me to read anyway.

My palms get really sweaty and all I can think about is not stammering. As I open my mouth and try to push out the first word, no sound comes. Why does this always happen?

It feels like my classmates’ eyes are burning a hole through me. I’m frustrated and embarrassed. I’m a great reader and student. Yet, I have a problem saying words exactly how and when I want them to; my problem is stuttering.

This is just one situation that kids who stutter face on a daily basis. If you don’t stutter, you’re likely unaware how difficult and frightening something as common as talking in class can be. Read on to learn more about stuttering and ways to help friends and fellow students who stutter.

When most people think about stuttering, they think of the noticeable things people who stutter do when they talk. For example, someone who stutters might repeat a sound or part of a word, li-li-li-like this. Sometimes, the person who stutters might hold onto a sound aloud, prolonging it longer than needed, liiiiiiiiiiike this. Or, the person might open his or her mouth to say a sound or word and no sound comes out at all. This is called a block, and it can sound like a pause or hesitation, when you wouldn’t expect to hear a pause.

These types of stutters are usually involuntary— something the speaker does not choose to do. Besides these noticeable differences in talking, a person who stutters might react to a moment of stuttering by avoiding it. One kind of avoidance is substituting a new word for the desired word. Another kind of avoidance is frequently using an “um” sound. And sometimes the stutterer uses his body to try to make the stutter stop. You might see him blink his eyes a lot, look away, swing his arm or tap his foot.

Kids who stutter frequently worry about talking in general. This silent aspect of the problem can be a bigger obstacle than the stutters themselves! Talking or reading aloud in class, calling someone on the phone and ordering food in a restaurant may all be extremely difficult for someone who stutters. Worrying about whether stuttering will happen in these situations usually makes the person even more worried about talking. Students who stutter often scan ahead when they know they will have to read out loud, in order to pinpoint words they think will be hard to say. Sometimes, kids who stutter will say, “I don’t know” to a question, even though they do know the answer, just because they are afraid they will stutter. Unfortunately, being afraid and anticipating stuttering often make the actual stutter much worse. There’s a famous quote that goes something like, “stuttering is what we do when we try not to stutter.”

There are many myths about stuttering, including that kids begin stuttering because their parents tickled their feet too much when they were babies or tried to potty train them too early. Luckily, we know many facts about stuttering. Most people who stutter begin having noticeable differences in talking between the ages of 2 and 4. No one knows for sure what causes them, but researchers agree that having a family history of stuttering puts a child at a greater risk to stutter. Another interesting fact is that more boys than girls stutter. By middle school, four to five times as many boys stutter for every girl who does. The degree of stuttering often changes with different communication partners and situations. People who stutter are just as intelligent as people who do not stutter, and they are not inherently more anxious or depressed than people who don’t stutter. The noticeable parts of stuttering, like hesitating when talking and looking away, might seem as if the person is more nervous or shy than non-stutterers, but this is not true. It’s just part of the stuttering.

Many famous and successful people stutter, including actors like Marilyn Monroe, Julia Roberts, Bruce Willis, Nicholas Brendon (Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and James Earl Jones (the voice of Darth Vader in Star Wars and Mufasa in The Lion King). Athletes also stutter, such as Tiger Woods, Kenyon Martin, Ron Harper, Bob Love, Bill Walton, Johnny Damon and Pat Williams, as do other famous people like Winston Churchill, the prime minister of England during WWII.

If you know someone who stutters, remember it does not mean he or she is abnormal or dumb. Instead, stuttering is just a unique characteristic about your friend. For example, Yao Ming probably was seen as abnormal compared to other people from China, however, he ultimately used his unique height to become a basketball star.

Everyone has unique qualities, though we differ in how we let this uniqueness define who we are. One of the best ways for you to help a person who stutters is just to be patient when he or she talks. If you have questions about stuttering, ask. Many times a teen who stutters is embarrassed and feels he or she needs to hide his or her stuttering. If you show your interest, it might help your friend to feel more comfortable talking about the stuttering with you.

Although we don’t know what causes stuttering, there is help for people who stutter. Speech-language pathologists (SLPs) are therapists trained to teach people to manage their stuttering and become less afraid of talking. Two main goals of stuttering therapy include learning ways to make talking easier and developing healthier attitudes and feelings about talking. For example, SLPs can teach stutterers different tools that reduce tension in the parts of the body responsible for making speech, or to begin a sentence with more air. SLPs also show students how to approach a speaking situation with less anxiety and more confidence. And students learn that talking fluently is only one aspect of being a good communicator. Other important skills include taking turns, not interrupting and using eye contact.

If you are a teen who stutters or know someone who does— or if you just want to learn more about this issue— visit the Web site for the Stuttering Foundation of America, www.stutteringhelp.org. There you will find more information on what happens in speech therapy, tips for talking with someone who stutters, and insight to share with teachers and others about stuttering.

Danielle Brimo is a graduate student in speech-language pathology at Florida State University. Originally from Miami, Brimo now resides in Tallahassee, Florida, where she is pursuing her Ph.D. In addition to working with clients with a variety of communication disorders during her training program, Brimo has earned specialized clinical and research experiences with children who stutter and children who have difficulty learning to read and write. Brimo wrote this article under the supervision of Lisa A. Scott, Ph.D., CCC-SLP, an assistant professor at Florida State University.