Chances are you probably know someone in your school with an autism spectrum disorder. He might be the student you see sitting alone in the cafeteria at lunch each day. Or maybe she is the student on your bus who talks quietly to herself or smiles and laughs for no apparent reason. He might be the student who loves to talk about the weather, video games or baseball statistics. You may have noticed that this student has some unusual behaviors or doesn’t seem to “fit in” with the other students at school.

Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) is used to describe the range of conditions that includes autism, Pervasive Developmental Disabilities - Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS) and Asperger’s Syndrome (AS).

Individuals with ASD may fall on very different points of the autism “spectrum.” Some may have normal or above normal intelligence. Others may have mental retardation as well as autism. Some individuals with ASD will not be able to take care of themselves and will always need help with daily living skills. Others may be able to attend college and live independently in the community. Every individual with autism is unique and has his or her own strengths and challenges.

Even though all students with ASD are unique, they share some common characteristics of autism. Individuals on the autism spectrum have difficulties with social interactions and communication. They often have trouble making friends and fitting in. They may not be able to understand the social rules that “typical” people follow. Some individuals with ASD want to have conversations but they may stand too close, talk too loudly or interrupt others when they are speaking. In addition, people with ASD may only want to talk about their favorite subject. Some students with ASD may avoid talking to others because starting a conversation feels too difficult.

Another common characteristic of ASD is the need for routines and order. It is calming to individuals with autism when things are predictable. Developing routines in their lives may be their way of making a very confusing world more understandable. This desire for routines can make changes especially difficult. Starting a new school year with new classes, new teachers and a new schedule can be a major adjustment. The student may feel anxious or overwhelmed as they learn to adjust to new experiences.

Many students with ASD also have sensory issues that affect how they react to their environment. For example, their hearing may be so overly sensitive that the buzzing of the fluorescent lights in the classroom may pain their ears. They may be distracted by noises that other students can filter out and ignore. Sensitive ears can also make changing classes especially overwhelming— with the sounds of the bell ringing, students yelling and locker doors slamming shut.

Some students with ASD have a heightened sensitivity to touch. They may not like being touched and may pull away when someone touches them. Certain textures may actually feel painful to their skin, limiting the kinds of clothing they can wear. Oversensitivity to smells can also be an issue for individuals with ASD. It may be difficult for these individuals to be around people wearing perfume or in settings with strong smells such as the biology lab, cafeteria or locker room. Each of these sensory issues can affect how the student behaves.

No matter how their autism shows itself or how they may appear to others, each individual with ASD has feelings. They are sensitive to how they are treated by others, and, like all students, they want to be liked. Whether in a special education class or in regular education classes with typical students, students with ASD can be vulnerable to bullies. The odd behaviors they may have can make them stand out. Plus, because they have difficulty making friends, students with ASD are often on their own and therefore are easier targets for bullies. Not only are these students trying to cope with the difficulties of their autism, they also often struggle to protect themselves from verbal and physical abuse from other students.

How can you help your fellow student with an autism spectrum disorder? One of the most important things you can do is to accept and respect him for who he is. You can accept the fact that a student with ASD may prefer being alone, understanding that social situations are often difficult. You can accept that sometimes the student’s behaviors may seem odd, and understand that sensory issues and change may cause difficulty. We need to respect these students not only for the unique perspective they offer, but for the challenges they must deal with on a daily basis.

You can also help the student with ASD by offering to be a friend. If you have a classmate who you suspect may be on the autism spectrum, go up to him and say hello. You can invite him to sit with you at lunch or ask him to work with you on a school project. Maybe you have similar interests like video games or movies that you can talk about.

Of course it may not be easy to be a friend to someone who is considered different. Being a friend may mean standing up for the target of bullying, when classmates poke fun at one’s differences or simply act mean. However, when we are kind to someone, and when we listen to the perspectives of others who are different than us, we broaden and enrich our lives. By reaching out to the student with ASD, you are giving him an incredible gift, something very difficult for him to achieve on his own— the gift of friendship.

Ann Palmer is the parent of a 23-year-old son with autism. She is the author of two books: Realizing the College Dream with Autism or Asperger Syndrome: A Parent’s Guide to Student Success and Parenting Across the Autism Spectrum: Unexpected Lessons We Have Learned, co-authored with Maureen Morrell. Both are published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. Palmer can be contacted through her Web site at www.annpalmerautism.com.