When it comes to dealing with your parents, knowing how to negotiate is the key to getting some freedom. Chances are slim that your parents encourage you to stay out a little later on a Friday night or always knock before coming into your room. If you want a later curfew or some privacy, you’re going to have to work for it— and that’s where your negotiation skills come in to play.

But don’t panic. Negotiating with your parents doesn’t have to be World War III. The three Rs make it easy to bargain with the toughest of parents.

1. Make sure your request is REALISTIC
You can’t expect to get your way if what you’re asking for is completely unreasonable. Likewise, the first step of negotiation is convincing yourself that what you’re asking for is realistic. Would your parents ever let you get a full-body tattoo? Probably not. But a henna tattoo might be a possibility. Consider whether your requests have a chance of happening before approaching your parents. Otherwise, your parents will expect everything you ask for to be out of this world and won’t respect you when you want something legitimate.

2. Do your RESEARCH
You can’t expect to win an argument if you aren’t prepared to defend your situation, and the best defense comes from the facts. Before you ask your parents’ permission for anything, explore the reasons they might not be cool with it and plan your responses. Your parents won’t be able to argue if you’ve already covered the potential problems. Not to mention, your parents should be impressed by your preparation.

3. Have a little RESPECT
Before you continue bargaining to drive your Dad’s prized car for the night, contemplate where your parents are coming from in withholding the keys. Is there a legitimate reason they’re nervous about you driving Dad’s ride? You won’t get anywhere in a negotiation unless you’ve taken the time to walk a few minutes in your parents’ shoes. If they see that you understand their point of view, you can all continue on the right foot. And, your parents will be apt to consider your perspective if you’ve taken time to respect theirs.

Once you have the three Rs down, you’re ready to have a mature conversation with your parents. Keep in mind that timing is important. Ambushing your Mom in the morning as she’s rushing off to work probably isn’t the best moment to ask her about a sleepover that night. Wait until it seems like your parents are in a decent mood, keep your cool and let the negotiations begin. Here are a few tips for specific situations.

You really want to go to a live concert. The trick to seeing your favorite band in action is showing your parents that the music is decent— not mosh-pit material— and that you know how to be safe. Pick a few of the band’s parent-approval-worthy songs and burn them to a CD, encouraging your parents to get a feel for the music. As for the safety factor, promise to keep your cell phone with you and on vibrate, because you probably won’t be able to hear it ring. This way, your parents can reach you at any point during the show. Casually mention that cell-phone access is the next best thing to actually having your parents there with you. Picturing themselves at your side will definitely ease your parents’ minds.

You need a later curfew on Saturday. The route getting a later curfew is being on time for your usual curfew. By going home on time every weekend night, you’re basically racking up points for the occasional curfew extension for prom night or your BFF’s birthday. When your parents can trust you to be home when you say you will, they can feel good about letting you cash in those late-night points from time to time. Just remember, all things in moderation. If you ask for a later curfew every weekend, your parents won’t take you seriously when you say you need one. Save those emergency late nights for milestone occasions.

You desperately want to get your belly button pierced.
The key to convincing your parents that your belly button needs bling is to show you’ve given the body art some serious thought. Piercing can be permanent and cause scarring. Before talking to your parents, consider all the pluses— it’ll look great with your summer tan— and minuses— it could get infected. Research reputable piercing salons and then ask your parents to check them out with you. By keeping your parents part of the process, you can keep their concerns under control. If they’re still nervous after seeing some safe salons and examples of normal-looking piercings, remind your parents that unlike facial piercings, a navel ring is totally incognito. Your parents don’t even have to see it, if they don’t want to!

Though your parents won’t go along with everything you ask, every situation is different. Just because they won’t let you streak your hair red doesn’t mean they won’t be open to letting your borrow the family car for the school dance. The most important thing about bargaining with your parents is compromise. Help out your parents and they are guaranteed to work with you, too.

Sarah Burningham is the author of HOW TO RAISE YOUR PARENTS: A Teen Girl’s Survival Guide (Chronicle Books). She regularly speaks to teens and parents at various school events around the country and she blogs daily at www.raiseyourparents.com. Burningham has been interviewed on The Today Show, CBS News and FOX News, and has been featured in Newsweek, CosmoGirl! and Teen Vogue. Burningham’s next book BOYOLOGY 101: The Teen Girl’s Crash Course in All Things Boy comes out in June 2009.