On a Roll to Addiction
How to prevent your tweens from becoming
problem gamblers.
by Edward J. Federman, Ph.D. and Charles E. Drebing, Ph.D.

PARENTGUIDE News April 2005

With professional poker players becoming household names and celebrities playing poker on television, the long-standing myth that gambling is glamorous has never had more currency. Multi-million dollar casinos, movie icons like James Bond in Monte Carlo and fancy racetracks emphasize that gambling’s fun and exciting.
Although the image of gambling as glamorous is as close to everyday reality as the Riviera is to Death Valley, this myth contributes to gambling’s attraction, not least among adolescents.

More than 12 percent of adolescents (one in eight) will have a gambling problem, a rate three to four times as high as adults.

As a parent, you can be proactive in lowering the risk that your children will develop gambling problems by examining your values about gambling, developing an open line of communication with your children and knowing what to look for.

First, let’s understand that problem gambling is gambling that causes difficulties in any sphere of the child’s life— educational, interpersonal, emotional, recreational or financial.

Next, take a moment to review your values about gambling. Do you believe your child should not gamble at all until he or she is a certain age? If so, what is that age? Or, do you believe it is all right for your kids to have a friendly game of poker with friends or family for small stakes that everyone can afford? The answers to these questions will set a framework for your discussions.

If a problem already exists or is clearly developing, you can, and should, step in to eliminate possible opportunities for gambling, but this is typically a stopgap solution. Your children will still need to develop the skills and support services to stop their habit.

To help prevent gambling problems, educate your children early on. (You may have to do some homework yourself first; we list some resources at the end of this article to help you.) Gambling is an attractive but potentially dangerous activity that will be a part of many children’s lives. Like drugs, alcohol and sex, parents and other caring relatives should provide children with the information they need to make informed decisions.

There is no set age to talk with kids. Research suggests that many 12 year olds have already begun gambling, so talking with them early is appropriate.

Be casual; have a conversation, not a lecture. Ask questions to gauge their understanding. Does your child know what a lottery is? Has he or she ever bet on anything? If so, what? Card games, sports betting, lottery? Have your child’s friends ever bet money?
·
Discuss basic concepts like betting, gambling and probability (for example, how gambling games work to ensure that the state lottery will win and most players will lose. Use vivid examples: for example, the chance of being struck by lightning is 35 times higher than of winning at power ball.)
·Discuss who gambles.

·Describe problem gambling and why people become problem gamblers.
·Explain the laws on gambling in your state. Most states prohibit children from most forms of public gambling. It’s illegal for children to play the lottery or to get someone to play for them.
·
Explain that as your child gets older, he or she will need to make his or her own decision about gambling. You want to make sure that your child knows enough to make a good choice. Go over the pros and cons of gambling:

Pros: Gambling can be fun with friends; many forms of gambling are legal when kids get older; most people don’t have a problem. Cons: Some forms of gambling are against the law; most people lose money gambling, some lose a lot; some people develop serious problems.
·
Discuss what to do if someone asks your child to gamble or if he knows someone who is gambling and getting into trouble.
·
Finally, make sure they can talk with you anytime they have questions or concerns. And revisit the issue; don’t let this be a one-time conversation.
Adolescents have fewer resources than adults to deal with gambling. They have limited experience with money and responsibility, as well as with people and industries that may take advantage of them. Help them to reason through situations they face in their daily lives. Help them to see that exercising good judgment and self-control is in their interest, not just yours.

You can also help your children avoid gambling problems by recognizing that normal adolescents have a need for stimulation and to explore new things. This often translates into a willingness to take greater risks, a valued avenue for connecting with others in the adolescent culture. These are generally healthy aspects to being a teenager— but these needs can also contribute to increased risk for gambling and other problems. You can take a number of steps to help them meet these needs while minimizing the actual risk.
·
Provide healthy outlets for excitement and new experiences.
·Work with their interest in risk taking; a healthy goal may be to take reasonable risks for worthwhile goals.

Unfortunately, despite a parent’s best efforts, some children will develop gambling problems, so it’s important to know there are both general and specific signs to look for. General indicators may include changes in mood or personality, slippage in school performance, unexplained time away from home or school, and increased expenses. Specific signs of a problem have to do with gambling itself, such as increased time and money spent on gambling, loss of control, preoccupation with gambling or gambling as a way to escape from problems.
It is wise to seek professional help when you see signs of a developing or existing gambling problem. Many states have a council on problem gambling, which can give you information on resources in your area. State councils are listed at www.ncpgambling.org/state_affiliates/.

To learn more about gambling, there are many excellent sources online. Harvard Medical School’s Division on Addiction has some self-help resources at www.basisonline.org/toolkits/FirstStepSite/main.htm.

Edward J. Federman, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice and on the faculty at the Boston University School of Medicine. He has lectured internationally on problem gambling and can be contacted for questions about workshops or lectures at federman@gamblingsolutions.net. Charles E. Drebing, Ph.D. is the chief of Psychology Service at the ENRM VA Medical Center in Bedford, MA. Christopher Krebs, Ph.D. is the Bedford area director of a multi-site study on problem gambling. Their book Don’t Leave It To Chance: A Guide for Families of Problem Gamblers (New Harbinger), from which this article was adapted, is an excellent resource.