Household Chores
Getting your tweens involved in helping out.
by Kristine Berggren
PARENTGUIDE News March 2005
In addition to the basics— keeping
kids safe, fed, clothed, educated and entertained—
most parents try to nurture children to become
independent and responsible community members.
If parents expect kids to pitch in with household
work, they instill good values about work
and responsibility. Maybe simply letting your
toddler make a sandwich or fold socks is the
first building block of a better world.
Creating a family life in which children learn
to care for themselves and surroundings often
takes extra time, planning and patience. Breaking
down tasks into small parts is key. For example,
ask your child to concentrate on the sink
and the toilet bowl while you tend to the
tub and the mirror. Be ready to explain and
model how to do the job right— and keep
your expectations reasonable.
After you’ve taught your child how to
do various self-care and household tasks,
let him or her do as much as possible independently.
Encourage your child to ask for help if necessary.
But if your child misses a blob of jelly on
the table or buttons a shirt lopsided, so
what? He is probably very proud of the accomplishment,
and hasty criticism from beloved Mom or Dad
might cause shame or even anger. Small successes—
however imperfect— breed confidence.
Make housework a whole-family activity. Some
families set aside a couple of hours, often
on weekends, for cleaning together. Others
make job charts stating each member’s
responsibility and tasks are rotated weekly
or monthly. And remember, the Seven Dwarves
had one thing right— if you whistle
(or listen to tunes) while you work, everyone’s
more cheerful about doing chores.
Older children may begin to balk at helping
with chores or cleaning their rooms. But holding
them to expectations sends the message that
their participation is valuable and necessary.
Offering an allowance— whether connected
to household chores or not— helps them
understand budgeting and delayed gratification
(if I buy the ice cream cone now it will take
me longer to save for the computer game I
have my eye on). Managing their own money
grooms realistic consumers and instills financial
responsibility. This is especially important
when children are expected to save a portion
for college fees or charitable donations.
Discussions about independence between older
teenagers and their parents may include more
complex topics like dating, driving, curfews
or college visits. Many parents continue to
link privilege with responsibility. For instance,
using the family car might depend on getting
good grades or chipping in for car insurance.
6 to 8 Years :
• Sweep floors.
• Help make and pack lunch.
• Help with yard work.
• Pour own drinks.
• Answer phone.
• Help with grocery shopping.
• Wash, dry and put away dishes without
help.
• Fill and empty dishwasher.
• Make own snacks.
• Do above tasks.
• Sew buttons.
• Cook simple food (such as toast).
• Pack suitcase.
• Do above tasks.
• Prepare simple meals or box mixes.
• Use washer and dryer with help.
• Straighten rooms.
• Clean bathroom.
• Wash car.
• Iron clothes.
• Babysit younger siblings (with adult
present).
• Mow lawn.
• Have neighborhood job (such as pet
care, yard work or paper route).
• Shovel snow.
• Do above tasks.
• Clean garage and basement.
• Plan menus, prepare and serve meals.
• Babysit younger siblings without adult
present.
• Change light bulbs.
• Replace vacuum bag.
• Clean refrigerator.
• Make grocery list.
Kristine Berggren is a stay-at-home mother
of three. She is a regular columnist on family
life for the National Catholic Reporter. Her
articles on family life have also appeared
in such publications as Minnesota Monthly,
Twin Cities Parent and the Minneapolis Star
Tribune. Kristine has been a frequent guest
on the nationally syndicated public radio
program MOMbo.
