The “Quince-Essential” Guide to Turning 15.
Spotlight on the Latin coming-of-age celebration.

by Adrienne Deckman

TWEENS & TEENS News November 2006

Most kids and parents know plenty about traditional coming-of-age celebrations— sweet 16s and bar or bat mitzvahs. Even if they haven’t been the center of attention at their own special occasion, teens have likely attended one (or 100) such celebrations by the time they’ve hit age 18. You and your parents might also be familiar with debutante balls, when young ladies are presented to “society” at white tie galas featuring dancing to orchestra music that plays into the early hours of morning. Yet, despite all the hoopla associated with teen parties, it is hard to imagine an event that combines elements of them all— unless you know about the quinceañera, the traditional coming-of-age celebration for Latinas marking their 15th (or Quince Años) birthday.

Like the bar or bat mitzvah, the quinceanera begins with a religious ceremony at which a young woman “matures” before her family and friends. Like the sweet 16, the quince is a great opportunity for budding adults to revel in the fun and excitement of a fancy party.

“Quinces have become very popular in the last 20 years, especially in communities with large Latino populations,” says Sherri Foxman, the founder and CEO of party411.com, one of the country’s oldest and most successful party-planning Web sites.
Similar to other celebrations that combine a religious service with a great party, quinces entail certain rituals that are very important. For example, it’s not a traditional quince if the day (or week) doesn’t start with a service in the church that the young lady (also known as the “quinceañera”) attends. The quinceañera is accompanied by her parents, godparents or other special relatives, and up to 14 couples (usually the quinceañera’s teenage friends and relatives), all who participate in a Mass held in honor of the young lady’s coming of age.

The quinceañera may kneel on a white satin cushion embroidered by a godmother or some other special person in her life. And though some girls choose to wear a white gown and tiara, if the quinceañera wants to save that white gown for her wedding day, a gown in a different pale color, such as pink, is a great choice. If she carries flowers— and most quinceañeras do— she often leaves the bouquet in a niche devoted to the Virgin Mary.

Though each quince is a unique event, says Foxman, there are two traditions that all quinces have in common. The first is the quinceañera doll. Some families may have a special doll that is carefully put away for such occasions, which may be a doll that the quinceañera’s mother or grandmother held when she turned 15. If a girl is the first quinceañera in her family, she can choose a favorite doll that she is willing to give away or she can buy one just for the occasion. Foxman even knows of a quinceañera whose doll was wearing a miniature version of the dress that the young lady wore! But be sure to decide whether you are going to throw the doll to your friends (much like a bouquet at a wedding) or to pass it down to a younger sister or cousin.

Another tradition relates to the shoes worn by the quinceañera. It is traditional for the quinceañera to wear flat shoes or ballet-type slippers to church— and this remains true even for quinceañeras already accustomed to wearing high heels. Flat shoes are helpful because one of the first traditions at the party following the church service is for a parent or older relative to present the quinceañera with the high heeled shoes she will wear for her first dance with her father (or favorite male relative or friend).

And no matter what music the party girl wants to boogie to for the rest of the party, the first dance is always a waltz or other slow dance, which allows the quinceañera and her partner to dance alone. Quinceañeras: Don’t be surprised if you see tears in your parents’ eyes during the dance. Seeing you in a gown and heels dancing with a boy alone, then joined by your girlfriends (damas or primeveras) and their escorts (chamblans), has got to remind your parents how their little girl has grown up.

While today 15 is too young an age to consider marriage, the first quince most likely was used to announce that the guest of honor was ready to marry. Now most families look at the quince as a way of announcing that the quinceañera is old enough to date.

How much planning you need to do as a quinceañera depends on how elaborate a party you and your parents decide to host. Foxman says that if your idea of a perfect quince is an afternoon service followed by a tea dance in the church social hall, planning a quince will not be particularly difficult, especially if your quince is not during peak wedding season, which is May through June and September. “If you ask me,” Foxman comments, “the tea dance is the perfect event for a quince. Nothing is prettier or more personal to the quinceañera, especially if you use white tablecloths and tiny bee-lights or votive candles.” Foxman cautions that if you have a more elaborate event in mind, you’ll want to start planning your quince as soon as you’ve written your thank you notes for the gifts you have received for your 14th birthday!

Because a church service is at the heart of most quinces, you can’t start planning until you explore your church’s schedule for available dates occurring within a few weeks of your 15th birthday. The timing of the service, as well as your family’s budget, will help you decide whether a tea dance (usually starting no later than 3pm and ending by 7pm) or a more conventional evening party is the best celebration to throw. But before you get ready for a day you will remember your whole life, and round up your damas and chamblans, go to www.party411.com/teen-birthday-party.html for plenty of “quince-essential” planning help.

When Adrienne Deckman is not writing about special events and milestones for party411.com, for which she also serves as the Etiquette Queen, she is a lawyer and freelance writer in Beachwood, Ohio. You can write to the Etiquette Queen at etiquettequeen@party411.com.