Tying the Knot
Teen immigrants who keep culture alive through
early engagement.
by Mariam Dagnoko, Children’s PressLine
TWEENS & TEENS News
April 2007
The average age at marriage in the United
States is 27 for men and 25 for women, according
to recent census figures. However, many Muslim
girls are expected to marry as soon as they
reach puberty. Two Muslim teens at Bronx International
High School reveal how they’re honoring
their culture and staying out of trouble through
a young engagement.
Djeneba Kanoute, age 17
When I was 14, I got to meet my future husband.
He liked me and vice versa. My mother said
that if we liked one another then we’d
get married. We haven’t seen one another
for almost four years because he’s in
Angola working in a diamond mine.
I’m engaged because my Dad doesn’t
want me to play around with boys. He arranged
for me to get married to his sister’s
son. But not everybody in my family marries
each other; my parents are not related in
any way. They met and liked each other and
they decided to get married.
When I was 10 years old, my mother told me
about my arranged marriage. At first I didn’t
like it, but she told me to accept it because
if I didn’t then it would cause a lot
of trouble between me and my father.
Getting engaged doesn’t have any effect
on me. I don’t usually think about the
guy I’m going to marry. I’m living
my life like I always have, and even when
I get married I will continue with my studies.
When I tell some of my American friends about
my engagement, they always say that I’m
stupid for getting engaged at such a young
age. My fiancé and I will get married
in a few years and the wedding will be in
my native country, Mali.
Kadiatou Sangare, age 17
The point of getting married young in Islam
is for the girl to be a virgin when she marries.
Some people are not virgins when they get
married and according to my culture that’s
shameful. In my culture, girls have to be
virgins so that their husbands will respect
them.
I don’t get involved in activities that
some young girls are doing today. Some girls,
especially high school students, are having
sex, and I’m not feeling that kind of
stuff. Everybody’s different. I want
to be a virgin when I get married. I first
met my fiancé this past year. We had
some things in common: We’re both students,
we both speak the same language and we think
about things the same.
I told my fiancé to go to my parents
if he wanted to be my husband, and he called
my father in Africa. My father told him that
even though I’m going to get married,
I have to continue with my schooling. Some
African parents force their kids to get married,
but it’s different in my family. The
girls always choose who they marry. One of
my sisters refused to marry unless she was
ready, and that was the end of it.
My fiancé and his family brought the
dowry, which was African fabrics and money.
We also had a mixture of some American traditions.
My fiancé lives in New York City. He’s
a college student. We don’t get to see
each other often because we’re both
busy students. When we do get to see each
other, we usually talk about the wedding plans.
The kind of life I’m planning to have
with him is to live in a beautiful house that
we built and have great educations and careers.
The wedding date hasn’t been set yet.
Children’s PressLine is a youth
journalism organization in Manhattan that
trains kids to be reporters and gives young
people the opportunity to represent themselves
in the media. This story was reported on by
Mariam Dagnoko, age 17. For more information,
visit www.cplmedia.org.
