Second-Hand Choices
Overcoming denial to the dangers of teenage
binge drinking.
by Toren Volkmann
TWEENS & TEENS News January 2007
-“No rules apply to me. I am the teenager
who ignores all advice. Who cares? Whatever.
I won’t get caught. I choose to be the
exception.” Does this sound familiar?
I hope not. It sounds familiar to me, but it’s
been ten years since I’ve realized I am
an alcoholic.
I partied hard in my early teens and continued
to do so throughout college. I was aware of
heavy drinking risks, and I had no intention
of letting a substance run my life. I rationalized
that everything I did was under social circumstances—
and so my life became extremely social.
Because of my choices, I was kicked off several
sports teams for substance abuse violations.
I was also arrested for underage drinking. I
remained intent not to learn from my mistakes,
though. I made it through high school and convinced
myself and my parents that I didn’t have
a drinking problem. I made up for my partying
with good grades and a warm personality that
allowed me to stay in denial. How could I have
a problem? Things were fine.
Little did I know, I was already on the path
to alcoholism.
I told my parents that I was going to buckle
down in college. I meant it when I said it,
but I was just naïve. College didn’t
lessen my abuse. I got crazier. After facing
several disciplinary issues and arrests off
campus as a result of my drinking, I decided
to just drink hard on the weekends. To me, it
seemed like it was my choice, like it was one
long party. I justified that it was a phase,
that I had control over my drinking and that
I’d be able to change after college. My
life would stabilize post-graduation.
After four years of heavy drinking and adequate
studying, I graduated with a psychology degree.
In accordance with my desire to live life purposefully
and experience diverse cultures, I decided to
apply to become a Peace Corps volunteer. Upon
admission to the Peace Corps, I was still unaware
of how serious my drinking had become. While
I may have been able to admit that years of
heavy drinking caused hardship at times, I would
not acknowledge much more than that.
I moved to South America with a clean slate.
I planned to gain life experience, contribute
to humanitarian relief efforts and pursue a
much-needed introspection. I also hoped to become
integrated into the community and use my Spanish.
I was ready to become a different person. Once
there, I began to play guitar and learn how
to live by a different set of rules. I came
to see the difficulties, frustrations and rewards
of adjusting to a third world culture.
Unfortunately, I was also slowly realizing that
I was indeed an alcoholic. My drinking habits
as a teen finally caught up with me. I was drinking
more than I intended to and blacking out. I
had become physically dependent on alcohol.
The severity of alcohol withdrawal and my inability
to stop drinking became too much for me to handle.
I tried everything to change my consumption
but I was unable to control how much I was drinking.
How was this possible? I wrote down many of
my struggles in my journal to try to understand
what went wrong— and when. Maybe I knew
back in high school that I was destined to become
an alcoholic. Maybe I really knew by the end
of college. I had to have known before I entered
into the Peace Corps. Perhaps the harsh living
circumstances in South America caused my alcoholism.
Yeah, right. Living in denial was no longer
working for me. For the first time, I realized
alcohol had taken over my life, and stopped
me from living the life I had planned.
I didn’t know what to do, so I asked for
help at the Peace Corps Medical Office. Within
a week of seeking help, I was admitted to a
rehab center in the northeast United States
where my real journey began. My predicament
was serious, but I had no idea what it all meant
at the time. In treatment I learned what it
means to say, “I’m an alcoholic.”
It means that I don’t process alcohol
normally, and will never be able to regulate
my drinking like normal drinkers. The way I
drank at an early age changed the way my body
handles alcohol, and in rehab I learned that
in order for me to live normally, my only option
is to not drink at all.
Today, I have the chance to be sober and choose
a different life for myself. Because of my Peace
Corps experiences, I have had the opportunity
to reclaim control of my life, and to learn
that anybody can live well and be happy without
alcohol. Alcohol-free, I have many more options
compared to how I fared when dependent on alcohol.
My life is better this way.
Since completing rehab three years ago, I have
lived in a halfway house for six months, continued
to compose songs on the guitar and co-written
the book From Binge to Blackout, A Mother and
Son Struggle With Teen Drinking. My Mom and
I speak nationally to middle schools, high schools
and colleges, and it is our hope that others
who hear our story will consider the dangers
of teen drinking.
We want families to talk about teenage drinking
without fear of stigma or labels. Substance
abuse can lead to addiction, and anyone can
live freely without alcohol or drugs if they
desire. Today, I choose happiness without drugs
and alcohol, one day at a time, and my life
has become more and more interesting because
of it.
Chris Volkmann and 26-year-old son Toren
Volkmann, co-authors of From Binge to Blackout
(Nal Trade), speak nationally about teen drinking.
For more information or to purchase their book,
visit www.bingetoblackout.com.
Why Parents Can’t Ignore a Drinking
Teen
by Chris Volkmann
As parents, we hate to admit our kids might
experience any type of drinking problem. Often
we try to cover up the problem, rather than
confront our young drinkers. It has been reported
that the average parent waits four years before
seeking help for alcohol problems, after the
first suspicion of underage drinking.
If a parent waits four years, a serious addiction
can be set in motion. That’s because
adolescents’ brains are not yet completely
formed, and cellular damage can occur rapidly.
As recent studies show, we can no longer look
the other way when our teens are drinking.
An adolescent’s best weapon to continue
to drink is a parent’s denial. Teens
are clever at camouflaging their drinking.
We parents must talk to our kids about the
critical information we know about teen brains.
Stating a clear message about the damage caused
by underage drinking is extremely important.
Sometimes it may seem that nothing is getting
through to your kids, but, as Toren tells
us now, it was our repetitious discussions
that ultimately persuaded him to get help
for his drinking problem. Had we not repeated
the message about the dangers of drinking
over and over, perhaps Toren would not have
finally made the decision to change his addictive
behavior.
Here are four things parents can do to influence
a teenager’s drinking choices:
1. Take a stand against teen drinking. State
a clear message to teens, friends and community
members that underage drinking is dangerous.
2. Consider teen drinking an important health
issue. Let teenagers know that heavy drinking
can easily and rapidly damage the developing
adolescent brain.
3. Discuss family history with alcohol and
drugs. Family genetics play a huge role in
risky drinking and alcoholism.
4. Seek professional help early to stop destructive
drinking behaviors. Teens who drink at an
early age show increased risk for addiction.
Chris Volkmann and 26-year-old son Toren
Volkmann, co-authors of From Binge to Blackout
(Nal Trade), speak nationally about teen drinking.
For more information or to purchase their
book, visit www.bingetoblackout.com.
